I can only relay my own experience in the hopes that you may relate and feel comforted in this moment on your own recovery journey. Stepping into the unknown is always frightening no matter what direction. Making the first tentative testing steps towards recovery were confusing, frightening, and difficult. There were many moments where it all seemed impossible, where I would slip back into denial or where the actual process of shift felt like too much to cope with. Looking back from where I am now, I can see how my recovery has progressed and all of the little steps and triumphs, learning and uncovering, ups and downs. This has been my story and I am proud of it now. I am proud of where I am now and that I stuck with it. It was the right choice for my health and well-being. I am now living and thankful for all that life brings.
In my case there were no magic formulae and no quick fixes. I had to just start and then learn to slowly take the opportunities and trust the support. It took a long time to really be assured that it was the right path and that the people treating me were trustworthy. I initially didn’t trust any person or any process but had somehow made the internal decision that I may as well try because I was not living and really had nothing to lose. The hope that there may be hope was what initially kept me moving forward.
Recovery is possible because I am recovering and living as I type this in real time. I have many meaningful relationships with people and feel like an equal human being with rights and abilities and gifts to contribute to the world. I can honestly say that I know and love all of myself and nurture myself accordingly. A few years ago I never would have contemplated those words. I have met many other wonderful inspiring people on my journey and knowing them and sharing in recovery together has been an amazing experience. I hope my words can impart some of this feeling because for me, seeing that recovery is real and happens every day in different ways, has been enormous comfort, motivation, and support. I am wishing you all the love and understanding I have as you continue on your journey too.
xoxo Ngareta Day